Tomorrow is your birthday. You will be five. I can't believe it. It seems like only a week or two ago that I first met you. When you came out of your mommy's belly, my whole life changed. Everything that I had been working for, everything that I thought was important began to change. My reasons for following my own pursuits began to unravel. My selfishness was highly fashionable in my own mind. I thought that I had created an identity that ensured my place as an influencer of cultural coolness.
But then you were born. You. A little tiny baby. Totally helpless and totally trusting. You looked up at me and your mommy and in one second, my heart broke. My heart broke for humanity. You embodied all of our human weakness and helplessness - and capacity to trust and love. As the years have progressed I've been learning to keep your interests as more important than mine. I love your brothers just as much, but your entrance into the world and my life had the effect of changing the direction of my heart. I wanted to know God better - because of you. I wanted to be a better husband - because of you. I wanted to write better songs - because of you. I hope that the changes that have come about in my life will serve to show you how you can change the way you live as you grow up.
Tomorrow is your birthday and I will be remembering who you are and all of the ways you've changed my life - without you even knowing it.
Happy Birthday Cole. Love, Daddy.