It’s interesting to me, as I look back over the past two months that have passed me by, I don’t feel any regret or nostalgia. I took nine months of my life to create a new expression of the songs (which are life experiences) from the past ten years. I worked long past dark on so many days. I chose to forego cuddling with my wife before falling asleep on more than a few nights. All of my family’s combined sacrifices and the drive to create finally led to the release of “Loose Cannon”. I made it. I told you about it. You downloaded and listened to it. You told me you liked it. I was happy - for a moment. Now, I am thinking about what else I can create. I want to put out a new record. I want to find a new series of subjects to blog on. I want to do what I need to do to get to that moment where I feel happy again – for a moment.
Now that the push is over to finish the record, to get it out there, to hear what you thought of the songs, I feel like I need to create something else. This last statement begs the question: do I create for me or for others or for God? I’m not really sure of the answer. I actually think that all three answers are true at different times. Sometimes they’re true all at once. As a creative I think that I have two major responsibilities. 1) I must always be creating. 2) I must always be aware of my propensity for self-indulgence.
You would think now that I am finished with “Loose Cannon” that I would be feeling a sort of postpartum depression after “giving birth” to the project. But the fact is this: I don’t feel like the push is over so much as I feel that the push is on. I’ve started a fire in my imagination that is fueling me to continue to create, to write, to sing, to joke, to drive, to eat, to laugh, to live and to love. These are all gifts from God. I want to learn to create for the sake of submission to the greater community, not for pleasing my own insatiable need for acclaim or fame. And I want to learn to create constantly. The push is on.