Best Of The Best

Several years ago, I wrote a song about my fears and insecurities with regards to my ability to provide for my family. I've always seen monetary affluence as a symbol of success. Recently, however, I am starting to feel that the best way to measure my life's worth isn't by the total earned figure, but by how much margin there is below that figure. This way, no matter how much money I have, it's always enough. Read the lines and feel the desperation. It makes me sad to think of the turmoil inside of myself at that time. As tumultuous as our life can be now with 3 kids, a mortgage, career and so forth, nothing compares to the hopeless, frustrated listlessness that abided in my mind then. I am truly grateful for where we are now - our life is a story of God's grace.

Best Of The Best

Michael Ferrari 2006

This is all I have to give, just a little bit.

This is not enough to live comfortably

The weak don’t know what to say when the strong arrive

You’ll find the weak where the wounded lay

And say a prayer that they will survive

            It isn’t the best things I’ve ever wanted

            tearing me up inside like this one thing:

            that I can’t provide the best of the best for you.

You know your grandfather said it best

when you danced at the winery

“You shouldn’t wear that wedding dress

if you have to work as hard as he”

And my heart, God rest it’s soul,

it goes out for your every need.

We’re throwing good money down the hole

but pinch the nickel till we make it bleed.

            It isn’t the best things I’ve ever wanted

            tearing me up inside like this one thing:

            that I can’t provide the best of the best for you.