Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Stream Of Subconsciousness

Today, we are beginning a new meeting schedule within the company. It will streamline creativity and productivity while decentralizing both. It's a good step toward a growing future for our organization. Of course, nobody REALLY knows how it's all going to work. We'll figure and tweak as we go. But when there's not a complete and spelled out plan to a process, I immediately mistrust it. Right now, there is a meeting taking place where conversation is happening that I used to be a part of in the old meeting structure. I am freaking out. I began to tweet these crazy statements from within the darkest parts of my heart and mind. Read and enjoy just how depraved and selfish I am.

I'd much rather doubt than believe. Thing is, it makes me a good songwriter but a terrible christ-follower.

I have a propensity for mistrust. It's why I'm a bad friend and an even worse employee.

Inside, I like being angry and frustrated better than I like being happy and at peace. It's easier. I like being lazy.

Whenever I do good, I immediately assume that I've done so because I should and not because I really wanted to.

The ball of tension in my gut is the dark secret thing that I nurture so I have a feeling I can always count on.

I constantly look for what I can get out of a situation or relationship - sometimes without even knowing it.

I don't know if I really believe all this crap.

Like my jokes? It's a dark humor. You wouldn't understand.

I find my self worth in possessing a skill, aptitude, idea or knowledge that no one else does. It makes me better than everyone.

I have an insatiable need for affirmation. It's like a bottomless tub of popcorn that gets stuck on your tonsils.

I have an unending desire to feel special. By the very nature of my need it cannot be met.

My needs are defined by my wants and I always want more. Therefore I always need more. I'm a needy poor soul - according to me.

This is an evil stream of subconsciousness that is totally given over to the selfish things I am feeling inside. Have a great day! TMF

No comments:

Post a Comment